a nice contented people-filled life is inimical to well-written posts.
positive association : negative association
brown. the overwhelming impression of the stairs at old adm is brown. but not a bad thing. a happy kind of brown. comforting and familiar. very evocative. no, redolent.
hanging out in the reading room with godwin berwine pema and huihui. best place to be on a friday morning/afternoon. happy.
frustration and failure most irrational, most uncontrollable. sitting in the line at kampong uni test centre, waiting to update my pdl. just sitting there and thinking about failing made me want to cry. i positively hate driving now. going round and round those same roads makes me sick. i don't think i've ever loathed anything up till now. (except maybe those soul crushing days of chinese tuition). this is ridiculous, i tell myself, as i wrestle with frustration and tears. i'm suddenly angry at everything.
physical surroundings and the emotions i have written into them.
its like a ball of red wool, pulled in all the wrong directions, with lose threads carelessly cut and hanging everywhere. to me it's hopelessly tangled. sometimes i tell myself i dont care. sometimes i begin to pick at it with great determination. but maybe it looks different to you? maybe the tangle is all at my end of the string, maybe your end is all sorted out. i feel you've abandoned it, whatever the case. maybe i should too.
so you see? things are not as you think they are. please don't assume and read details into my life that are not there.
this is clarity: not to see yourself larger than you are, but not to see yourself smaller than you really are either. so don't be mistaken.
it's never so simple.
it has never been so simple.
the four right chords can make me cry
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
super good day.
i give it five red cars.
or better yet, five red ducatis.
I got my writing assistant job!!! HOOT! was hopping around and hooting madly with uncontainable happiness. Called best friend to spill it over somewhere.
with motorbikes, every ride is a joy ride. the weather tonight was perfect for riding. I am convinced that there is no other mode of transport for me. I love walking around with a helmet in the crook of my arm. I love how messy and tangled my hair gets. I love how I got soaked to the skin while riding in the rain. I love the feeling of the wind whipping against your face.
two wheels good. four wheels bad.
but most of all...
TREVOR JALLA is back!!! *swoons*
squealsquealsqueal! gushgushgush! hophophop!
SO EXCITED/HAPPY! (exappy!)
http://www.timbre.com.sg/
does anyone want to go with me?
Tues 26th July Ublues Acoustic Duo (8:30pm – 12 midnight)
Wed 27th July Ublues Band with EIC (8:30pm – 2am)
Thurs 28th July Ublues Acoustic Duo (8:30pm – 12 midnight)
Fri 29th July Ublues Band feat. Smokey (10pm – 2am)
Sat 30th July Ublues Band with Horns (10pm – 2am)
Sun 31st July Ublues & Friends Jam (8:30pm – 12 midnight)
i'm planning to go saturday and sunday maybe. Its at the substation, where Fat Frog's used to be. (incidentally, I've always wanted to go to Fat Frog's but never did and now its gone. humbug.)
for those who do not understand what the fuss about trevor jalla is all about, i refer you to my old posts.
i give it five red cars.
or better yet, five red ducatis.
I got my writing assistant job!!! HOOT! was hopping around and hooting madly with uncontainable happiness. Called best friend to spill it over somewhere.
with motorbikes, every ride is a joy ride. the weather tonight was perfect for riding. I am convinced that there is no other mode of transport for me. I love walking around with a helmet in the crook of my arm. I love how messy and tangled my hair gets. I love how I got soaked to the skin while riding in the rain. I love the feeling of the wind whipping against your face.
two wheels good. four wheels bad.
but most of all...
TREVOR JALLA is back!!! *swoons*
squealsquealsqueal! gushgushgush! hophophop!
SO EXCITED/HAPPY! (exappy!)
http://www.timbre.com.sg/
does anyone want to go with me?
Tues 26th July Ublues Acoustic Duo (8:30pm – 12 midnight)
Wed 27th July Ublues Band with EIC (8:30pm – 2am)
Thurs 28th July Ublues Acoustic Duo (8:30pm – 12 midnight)
Fri 29th July Ublues Band feat. Smokey (10pm – 2am)
Sat 30th July Ublues Band with Horns (10pm – 2am)
Sun 31st July Ublues & Friends Jam (8:30pm – 12 midnight)
i'm planning to go saturday and sunday maybe. Its at the substation, where Fat Frog's used to be. (incidentally, I've always wanted to go to Fat Frog's but never did and now its gone. humbug.)
for those who do not understand what the fuss about trevor jalla is all about, i refer you to my old posts.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
wait a tick!!!
it's elvin yeo!!!
who is the funky, fabulous, fashionable feria man?!?!
LOL
i am super amused.
for the non-AJCians, elvin yeo was like outstanding student of the year in AJ in the batch before mine. if i'm not wrong, he was in 11/01, my senior class. I think veron knows him, or the councilors or something.
now he's in a man hunt!!!
haha just goes to show that you never know. maybe someday my brother might join. *snort*
this reminds me of the time i asked my dad,
"how come you never joined manhunt?"
dad
"give the others a chance."
muahahahahaha!!!
Fragile. Dark. Bizarre.
lardidah. i'm back.
bidding frenzy begins.
while waiting for the cors page to load i did a personality test.
see?
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
trait snapshot:
messy, depressed, introverted, feels invisible, does not make friends easily, nihilistic, reveals little about self, fragile, dark, bizarre, feels undesirable, dislikes leadership, reclusive, weird, irritable, frequently second guesses self, unassertive, unsympathetic, low self control, observer, worrying, phobic, suspicious, unproductive, avoidant, negative, bad at saving money, emotionally sensitive, does not like to stand out, dislikes large parties, submissive, daydreamer
bad at saving money? is that why i got a coin bank for my birthday?
feeling quite bo liao.
don't know where to start updating from. let's just say life has been overwhelmingly good of late. yay =).
all I need is just a little time and the right situation. i may not have a magnetic personality, but i've been told that i'm rather entertaining on occassion. this past week has reinforced the belief that i'm terrible in group settings. how does that translate into cgling next year? ponderponder.
I will be used, just as I am.
i just ate half a pound cake and finished off the carton of milk. later i'm meeting serene and the twins for ice cream. pigged out at swensen's just sunday. ate portugese egg tarts and deep fried yam ball etc for dinner yesterday. diet has been most un-wholesome of late. see what chocolate pound cake is made of?
ingredients: sugar, egg, wheat flour, butter (cream, salt), vegetable fats and oils, cocoa, cocoa liquor, emulsifiers (477, 471, 475), milk solids, thickeners (1412, 1422), salt, vanila flavour (natural), baking powder, baking soda, food acid (330).
reminds me of food chem in JC, all the numbers of the chemicals they add to food.
which reminds me of kim thye and his classic line, "see that wall? go bang your head on it!"
digression, i was told, is used to explain complicated plot details. what this explains, who knows.
somewhere out there.
some joker is doing the same thing as me.
hawkishly watching the "next minimum bid" and "no. of bidders", refreshing the page.
and wondering whether to increase his own bid or not.
this is rather pathetic.
note to self: do not, under any circumstances, ever attempt to climb kota kinabalu without training, ever again.
was breathing so hard, even just 5 minutes into the climb. towards the end i was staggering, all i could hear in my head was the thump of my heartbeat and it was screaming, "fatigue! fatigue!". lol. so drama. twas a humbling experience. really relied on the group to encourage me, it was a portrait of what fellowship should be. the stronger helping the weaker, the weaker being humble enough to accept that help, each member doing their best and contributing in whatever capacity they could, journeying together. its like that song grace let me hear, if we are the body by casting crowns.
But if we are the body
why arent His arms reaching
why arent His hands healing
why arent His words teaching
and if we are the body
why arent His feet going
why is His love not showing them there is a way
Jesus paid much too high a price
for us to pick and choose who should come
and we are the body of Christ
the metaphors used in the bible are deep. trouble is, having been exposed to them since young, i seldom question myself about what they really mean. ponderponder.
I really enjoyed being with the people on the trip =). Berwine, Chelsea, Grace, Nian and Shaun. or rather, BG Shaun! haha =) They are some of the nicest, kindest, goodest people i've ever met and for once I feel like i belong somewhere. That feeling extended to when we went to rachel's church and later to the OG dinner. I've always kinda felt out of sorts, since secondary school days as the weirdo jiak kentang in a primarily chinese-speaking environment. But just maybe i've found my place. ponderponder.
i'm supposed to be doing nothing for the next two weeks. but i doubt thats going to happen. I've got things to do and people to see!
love and affection,
becky
lardidah. i'm back.
bidding frenzy begins.
while waiting for the cors page to load i did a personality test.
see?
| Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
trait snapshot:
messy, depressed, introverted, feels invisible, does not make friends easily, nihilistic, reveals little about self, fragile, dark, bizarre, feels undesirable, dislikes leadership, reclusive, weird, irritable, frequently second guesses self, unassertive, unsympathetic, low self control, observer, worrying, phobic, suspicious, unproductive, avoidant, negative, bad at saving money, emotionally sensitive, does not like to stand out, dislikes large parties, submissive, daydreamer
bad at saving money? is that why i got a coin bank for my birthday?
feeling quite bo liao.
don't know where to start updating from. let's just say life has been overwhelmingly good of late. yay =).
all I need is just a little time and the right situation. i may not have a magnetic personality, but i've been told that i'm rather entertaining on occassion. this past week has reinforced the belief that i'm terrible in group settings. how does that translate into cgling next year? ponderponder.
I will be used, just as I am.
i just ate half a pound cake and finished off the carton of milk. later i'm meeting serene and the twins for ice cream. pigged out at swensen's just sunday. ate portugese egg tarts and deep fried yam ball etc for dinner yesterday. diet has been most un-wholesome of late. see what chocolate pound cake is made of?
ingredients: sugar, egg, wheat flour, butter (cream, salt), vegetable fats and oils, cocoa, cocoa liquor, emulsifiers (477, 471, 475), milk solids, thickeners (1412, 1422), salt, vanila flavour (natural), baking powder, baking soda, food acid (330).
reminds me of food chem in JC, all the numbers of the chemicals they add to food.
which reminds me of kim thye and his classic line, "see that wall? go bang your head on it!"
digression, i was told, is used to explain complicated plot details. what this explains, who knows.
somewhere out there.
some joker is doing the same thing as me.
hawkishly watching the "next minimum bid" and "no. of bidders", refreshing the page.
and wondering whether to increase his own bid or not.
this is rather pathetic.
note to self: do not, under any circumstances, ever attempt to climb kota kinabalu without training, ever again.
was breathing so hard, even just 5 minutes into the climb. towards the end i was staggering, all i could hear in my head was the thump of my heartbeat and it was screaming, "fatigue! fatigue!". lol. so drama. twas a humbling experience. really relied on the group to encourage me, it was a portrait of what fellowship should be. the stronger helping the weaker, the weaker being humble enough to accept that help, each member doing their best and contributing in whatever capacity they could, journeying together. its like that song grace let me hear, if we are the body by casting crowns.
But if we are the body
why arent His arms reaching
why arent His hands healing
why arent His words teaching
and if we are the body
why arent His feet going
why is His love not showing them there is a way
Jesus paid much too high a price
for us to pick and choose who should come
and we are the body of Christ
the metaphors used in the bible are deep. trouble is, having been exposed to them since young, i seldom question myself about what they really mean. ponderponder.
I really enjoyed being with the people on the trip =). Berwine, Chelsea, Grace, Nian and Shaun. or rather, BG Shaun! haha =) They are some of the nicest, kindest, goodest people i've ever met and for once I feel like i belong somewhere. That feeling extended to when we went to rachel's church and later to the OG dinner. I've always kinda felt out of sorts, since secondary school days as the weirdo jiak kentang in a primarily chinese-speaking environment. But just maybe i've found my place. ponderponder.
i'm supposed to be doing nothing for the next two weeks. but i doubt thats going to happen. I've got things to do and people to see!
love and affection,
becky
Sunday, July 17, 2005
describe me.
today chels asked me how i would describe myself. I said that there are 3 levels of getting to know becky. 1)At first I'm really quiet. 2)Then I'm really noisy. 3)Then I'm really quiet again.
She's in the opinion that i'm 1)gentle 2)sweet. A concept friends at level two snort at. But much to my horror, despite my pretend-to-be-fierce layer number 2, i actually AM pretty gentle and sweet. eeyer. I don't like being sweet cos it's so one-dimensional and boring.
Mr Chendol Softee says: "Maybe ur the bohemian intellectual type"
to quote him verbatim...
"these type of girls are basically the opposite of those hipster clubber type of girls"
"kinda artsy"
"dress sense is different, not in bad way but uniquely pleasant way"
"tends to rather shop in the flea market than in those 'hippy' trendy shops in town"
haha.... the things he reads in men's magazines =)
i'm curious to hear what you think. do comment.
today chels asked me how i would describe myself. I said that there are 3 levels of getting to know becky. 1)At first I'm really quiet. 2)Then I'm really noisy. 3)Then I'm really quiet again.
She's in the opinion that i'm 1)gentle 2)sweet. A concept friends at level two snort at. But much to my horror, despite my pretend-to-be-fierce layer number 2, i actually AM pretty gentle and sweet. eeyer. I don't like being sweet cos it's so one-dimensional and boring.
Mr Chendol Softee says: "Maybe ur the bohemian intellectual type"
to quote him verbatim...
"these type of girls are basically the opposite of those hipster clubber type of girls"
"kinda artsy"
"dress sense is different, not in bad way but uniquely pleasant way"
"tends to rather shop in the flea market than in those 'hippy' trendy shops in town"
haha.... the things he reads in men's magazines =)
i'm curious to hear what you think. do comment.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Ahava! The best group ever! 
Presenting "13 things VCFers do at camps" and miscellaneous camp photos!
Presenting "13 things VCFers do at camps" and miscellaneous camp photos!
11) Look to James for direction. hehe...
Apparently being the VCF chair gives you amazing powers for the number game!
Apparently being the VCF chair gives you amazing powers for the number game!
12) Have prayer meetings. Blindfolded.
haha, no lah. we were actually playing a game. but looks like it dont it?
haha, no lah. we were actually playing a game. but looks like it dont it?
happy birthday to us!
3 people with the same birthday at the same camp! And all dressed in primary colours!
3 people with the same birthday at the same camp! And all dressed in primary colours!
Love Compels
2 Corinthians 5: 14-15
For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
2 Corinthians 5: 14-15
For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
I don't know where to start. So any arbitary place will do.
click here to find out what tim means by "friendly punch to the face". we sons and daughters of zhonghua are to be courteous and righteous and edified and dignified! I miss kenny... i'm thinking me teemo kenny benben and aezoh should have a reunion one day. onz? where's your zhonghua spirit?!?!
VCF camp was so excellent. At first I was really struggling to lead the group discussions. Really struggling. And me being me, I was being assualted by the usual gamut of guilt and doubt and inadequacy. But God still used me, because it's not about me, but about God working in me. I thank God for my group, and especially my roomie dawn, they were such a blessing to me! Elias, the perfect complement, giving balance to the group, bringing laughter to us all. Tabitha, engaging people deeply, in love and sincerity; her openess and transparency in sharing. James, his conviction, his steady guidance, his warm genuine-ness, his enthusiasm and his serendipitous knowledge of engin fac and where the vcf letterbox is! Zai Xiang (affectionately known as Jonathan Cheng or Avril boy), his ideas and active contribution, even though he is (in MZ's words) the SMU spy/crashee. Yokes, her heart for God and willingness to listen and obey. Paul and his quiet ways and nice smile. Dawn, her exemplary evangelism, bubbly personality and goodness unto me. (May you be as beautiful and glorious as each bright new dawn! Shining forth God's light to the people around you as you have to me.) Our musically inclined Hui Ping, so sweet-natured and so good. Faith, her love for her friends and concern about doing the right thing. Mark, taking time off from work just to come, super solver of clues for our starlit treasurehunt, and by far the most adorable! Weiya, willing to take cab back and forth just to bless us with her presence for that short time. Min Zhi, (and the rest of the comm), for all the hard work and prayers that they put in, seeking just to glorify God.
Very challenged to live out a life that glorifies God. The four days of doing QT properly and consistently have been a shot in the arm for my spiritual life. Hearing God's word everyday, distilled down for you. It's so much easier to be a Christian among brothers and sisters. But for the majority of my time, I need to do these things on my own, and therein lies the struggle. As much as camp has been good, I hope that it wont just be an experience confined to once-a-year. The challenge is to live out the Christian life in mundane day-to-day, when the demands of school etc start again. I have a lot more to say, will share if there's a willing audience.
My birthday! We went out for supper after the sharings, where it was a fun time of chubby bunny games, and a good time of sharing "the top 3 things you liked about this camp". When we got back, we had a time of prayer, which was great too. By the time that was done, it was about 3am, and i got a message from damien to go collect my present from the science comm, so i did. They bought me a guitar stand! Totally great gift, its practical, and i like it! But i was really touched by the letters they wrote me, especially weili's. Thank you so much dear friend =) I am to reply letters soon. (soon meaning, after kota kinabalu, meaning after 25th July). Me and dawn were trying to finish writing letters to everyone in our group, when she offered to pray for me. As she was praying to me, I was just thinking how it was the best birthday of my life so far, and how wonderful it was to be prayed for like that, that we could be so un-superficial in our prayers, even though we just met 3 days before.
When we broke camp, our group went to munchy monkey's for lunch. The conversation was fantastically funny! Somehow, certain things only come out at the last day *grin* Just felt so happy and contented to be among these people, who made me feel so special and loved. =)
Enai came over to my house just to spend time with me on my birthday. She brought strawberry white wine and dark chocolate for me. I told her, "so bourgeios!" Haha... but it was a good time, talking about the things on our hearts. Thank you God, for a best friend like enai.
Having drunk 3/4 of the bottle of wine, i was feeling a little high when my family went out for dinner. that was fun, being a little high, but not drunk. (how to get drunk lah, the wine only 6% alcohol). We ate at a fancy schmancy japanese restaurant, Kuriya, and the food was really good, but it was so expensive... Watched War of the Worlds, which has the ignomity of being worst movie of 2005 on my list. Bleah, what a waste of money... for all 5 of us some more.
Woke up the next morning to rush to school. Was thinking about some things as dad sent me on the motorbike. Not good, so i'll keep it private for now. At the meeting, it was so good to see my usp friends again =) glad that i got to talk to pema, i've missed her. shaun gave me a furry sheep bookmark from new zealand! So sweet lah, i didnt expect him to get me anything. A few seniors from my OG then went to buy stuff for the camp, crammed into nian's car. I thought it was kinda quiet, hopefully we'll be more bonded before the freshies come in.
Got home just in time to rush off for tuition again. Mad rush. I was so tired during tuition, I caught myself talking repetitive nonsense about "the line AB". Slept only 1 hour the night of my birthday, havent had a good solid 8 hour block of sleep yet, and have had so many camps before that. Havent recovered from accumulated sleep deprivation. And I'm up late now blogging things down before I forget them, helping my brother transpose a chinese song, and posting photos when I have to wake up early tmr to try to meet people for breakfast. Eyebags here i come.
But you know, i'm so happy/excited (exappy?) that my JC friends are coming over for dinner tomorrow!!!! I SO CANNOT WAIT FOR IT! I've missed them so so so much. My dream has always been for a proper reunion, involving all the different factions. But like i told mandy that day, i guess i'm being too idealistic and sentimental. But YAYNESS, they are coming!!!
I wonder if they will want to watch yellow submarine with me. I like that movie. and it has the two songs i posted yesterday. I've ALWAYS wanted to say that line, "It was twenty years ago today". (like how some 4 or 5 birthdays ago i just had this strange wish that someone would say to me "here's looking at you kid" and someone actually did. It's just one of those weird things i get fixated on.) I love the when i'm 64 song cos I always remember so fondly me and V singing the song with gusto (^_^) and it was particularly relevant, "birthday greetings, bottle of wine".
this blog has been very bad writing so far. its completely been "this happened, then that happened", the absolute worst way to narrate. but no time to sit and think about things, so i can't produce any literature, just news reports. I apologize for the appalling standards and verbosity.
click here to find out what tim means by "friendly punch to the face". we sons and daughters of zhonghua are to be courteous and righteous and edified and dignified! I miss kenny... i'm thinking me teemo kenny benben and aezoh should have a reunion one day. onz? where's your zhonghua spirit?!?!
VCF camp was so excellent. At first I was really struggling to lead the group discussions. Really struggling. And me being me, I was being assualted by the usual gamut of guilt and doubt and inadequacy. But God still used me, because it's not about me, but about God working in me. I thank God for my group, and especially my roomie dawn, they were such a blessing to me! Elias, the perfect complement, giving balance to the group, bringing laughter to us all. Tabitha, engaging people deeply, in love and sincerity; her openess and transparency in sharing. James, his conviction, his steady guidance, his warm genuine-ness, his enthusiasm and his serendipitous knowledge of engin fac and where the vcf letterbox is! Zai Xiang (affectionately known as Jonathan Cheng or Avril boy), his ideas and active contribution, even though he is (in MZ's words) the SMU spy/crashee. Yokes, her heart for God and willingness to listen and obey. Paul and his quiet ways and nice smile. Dawn, her exemplary evangelism, bubbly personality and goodness unto me. (May you be as beautiful and glorious as each bright new dawn! Shining forth God's light to the people around you as you have to me.) Our musically inclined Hui Ping, so sweet-natured and so good. Faith, her love for her friends and concern about doing the right thing. Mark, taking time off from work just to come, super solver of clues for our starlit treasurehunt, and by far the most adorable! Weiya, willing to take cab back and forth just to bless us with her presence for that short time. Min Zhi, (and the rest of the comm), for all the hard work and prayers that they put in, seeking just to glorify God.
Very challenged to live out a life that glorifies God. The four days of doing QT properly and consistently have been a shot in the arm for my spiritual life. Hearing God's word everyday, distilled down for you. It's so much easier to be a Christian among brothers and sisters. But for the majority of my time, I need to do these things on my own, and therein lies the struggle. As much as camp has been good, I hope that it wont just be an experience confined to once-a-year. The challenge is to live out the Christian life in mundane day-to-day, when the demands of school etc start again. I have a lot more to say, will share if there's a willing audience.
My birthday! We went out for supper after the sharings, where it was a fun time of chubby bunny games, and a good time of sharing "the top 3 things you liked about this camp". When we got back, we had a time of prayer, which was great too. By the time that was done, it was about 3am, and i got a message from damien to go collect my present from the science comm, so i did. They bought me a guitar stand! Totally great gift, its practical, and i like it! But i was really touched by the letters they wrote me, especially weili's. Thank you so much dear friend =) I am to reply letters soon. (soon meaning, after kota kinabalu, meaning after 25th July). Me and dawn were trying to finish writing letters to everyone in our group, when she offered to pray for me. As she was praying to me, I was just thinking how it was the best birthday of my life so far, and how wonderful it was to be prayed for like that, that we could be so un-superficial in our prayers, even though we just met 3 days before.
When we broke camp, our group went to munchy monkey's for lunch. The conversation was fantastically funny! Somehow, certain things only come out at the last day *grin* Just felt so happy and contented to be among these people, who made me feel so special and loved. =)
Enai came over to my house just to spend time with me on my birthday. She brought strawberry white wine and dark chocolate for me. I told her, "so bourgeios!" Haha... but it was a good time, talking about the things on our hearts. Thank you God, for a best friend like enai.
Having drunk 3/4 of the bottle of wine, i was feeling a little high when my family went out for dinner. that was fun, being a little high, but not drunk. (how to get drunk lah, the wine only 6% alcohol). We ate at a fancy schmancy japanese restaurant, Kuriya, and the food was really good, but it was so expensive... Watched War of the Worlds, which has the ignomity of being worst movie of 2005 on my list. Bleah, what a waste of money... for all 5 of us some more.
Woke up the next morning to rush to school. Was thinking about some things as dad sent me on the motorbike. Not good, so i'll keep it private for now. At the meeting, it was so good to see my usp friends again =) glad that i got to talk to pema, i've missed her. shaun gave me a furry sheep bookmark from new zealand! So sweet lah, i didnt expect him to get me anything. A few seniors from my OG then went to buy stuff for the camp, crammed into nian's car. I thought it was kinda quiet, hopefully we'll be more bonded before the freshies come in.
Got home just in time to rush off for tuition again. Mad rush. I was so tired during tuition, I caught myself talking repetitive nonsense about "the line AB". Slept only 1 hour the night of my birthday, havent had a good solid 8 hour block of sleep yet, and have had so many camps before that. Havent recovered from accumulated sleep deprivation. And I'm up late now blogging things down before I forget them, helping my brother transpose a chinese song, and posting photos when I have to wake up early tmr to try to meet people for breakfast. Eyebags here i come.
But you know, i'm so happy/excited (exappy?) that my JC friends are coming over for dinner tomorrow!!!! I SO CANNOT WAIT FOR IT! I've missed them so so so much. My dream has always been for a proper reunion, involving all the different factions. But like i told mandy that day, i guess i'm being too idealistic and sentimental. But YAYNESS, they are coming!!!
I wonder if they will want to watch yellow submarine with me. I like that movie. and it has the two songs i posted yesterday. I've ALWAYS wanted to say that line, "It was twenty years ago today". (like how some 4 or 5 birthdays ago i just had this strange wish that someone would say to me "here's looking at you kid" and someone actually did. It's just one of those weird things i get fixated on.) I love the when i'm 64 song cos I always remember so fondly me and V singing the song with gusto (^_^) and it was particularly relevant, "birthday greetings, bottle of wine".
this blog has been very bad writing so far. its completely been "this happened, then that happened", the absolute worst way to narrate. but no time to sit and think about things, so i can't produce any literature, just news reports. I apologize for the appalling standards and verbosity.
Friday, July 08, 2005
It was twenty years ago today
Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play
They've been going in and out of style
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile
So may I introduce to you
The act you've known for all these years
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!
We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
We hope you will enjoy the show
We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Sit back and let the evening go
Sgt. Pepper's lonely, Sgt. Pepper's lonely
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
It's wonderful to be here
It's certainly a thrill
You're such a lovely audience
We'd like to take you home with us
We'd like to take you home
I don't really like to stop the show
But I thought that you might like to know
That the singer's going to sing a song
And he wants you all to sing along
So let me introduce to you
The one and only Billy Shears
And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!
----------------------------------------------------
When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me valentines
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?
You’ll be older too
And it you say the word
I could stay with you.
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four.
Every summer we can rent a cottage,
In the isle of wight, if it’s not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck & Dave.
Send me a postcard, drop me a line,
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine forevermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?
Beatles Bonanza!
Too tired to explain now. Will have to wait till some other time. The Beatles Rock. Best band in all history!
Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play
They've been going in and out of style
But they're guaranteed to raise a smile
So may I introduce to you
The act you've known for all these years
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!
We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
We hope you will enjoy the show
We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Sit back and let the evening go
Sgt. Pepper's lonely, Sgt. Pepper's lonely
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
It's wonderful to be here
It's certainly a thrill
You're such a lovely audience
We'd like to take you home with us
We'd like to take you home
I don't really like to stop the show
But I thought that you might like to know
That the singer's going to sing a song
And he wants you all to sing along
So let me introduce to you
The one and only Billy Shears
And Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!
----------------------------------------------------
When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me valentines
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?
You’ll be older too
And it you say the word
I could stay with you.
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four.
Every summer we can rent a cottage,
In the isle of wight, if it’s not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck & Dave.
Send me a postcard, drop me a line,
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine forevermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I’m sixty-four?
Beatles Bonanza!
Too tired to explain now. Will have to wait till some other time. The Beatles Rock. Best band in all history!
Monday, July 04, 2005
I think my dog missed me.
He gets really whiny when i'm not at home. When i got back, he was really clingy, following me around everywhere. There was once he saw me entering the house just as he was leaving for his walk and persisted in following me home rather than go for a walk. Most unusual, cos usually nothing gets between him and his walkies.
But today he was calm. We sat on the sofa and i shared my apple with him. He didnt get restless and run off, or jump off to scratch his ears. He just sat there, looking strangely contented. A halo of afternoon sunlight around his fluffy head.
Nice to know i've been missed.
Too bad for the poor baby, i'm going to be gone again tomorrow.
In other news.
Kinabalu is pushed back to the 18th again! Fabulous, means i can attend CGL training afterall. Very thankful for the way I keep getting bailed out of messy situations like that.
Best friend is back! But i'll be at a camp! Ah well.
Thanks to Hazel who got me a nice charm bracelet for my birthday!!! It was sweet beyond words, i only mentioned it casually once, and she remembered. She even roped in an accomplice. Wah.... gan dong. Will take picture of it when i find the camera, it be so purdy.
He gets really whiny when i'm not at home. When i got back, he was really clingy, following me around everywhere. There was once he saw me entering the house just as he was leaving for his walk and persisted in following me home rather than go for a walk. Most unusual, cos usually nothing gets between him and his walkies.
But today he was calm. We sat on the sofa and i shared my apple with him. He didnt get restless and run off, or jump off to scratch his ears. He just sat there, looking strangely contented. A halo of afternoon sunlight around his fluffy head.
Nice to know i've been missed.
Too bad for the poor baby, i'm going to be gone again tomorrow.
In other news.
Kinabalu is pushed back to the 18th again! Fabulous, means i can attend CGL training afterall. Very thankful for the way I keep getting bailed out of messy situations like that.
Best friend is back! But i'll be at a camp! Ah well.
Thanks to Hazel who got me a nice charm bracelet for my birthday!!! It was sweet beyond words, i only mentioned it casually once, and she remembered. She even roped in an accomplice. Wah.... gan dong. Will take picture of it when i find the camera, it be so purdy.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
argh.
i'm overbooked. messed up again.
4th: supposed to go make nametags. tuition in the evening.
5th: stompaids meeting at SGH. VCF FOC at NUS.
8th: PCC visit how? Dinner with family tentative.
9th: tuition, time not settled.
10th: lunch with JC classmates at botanic gardens. but supposed to spend day with hazel. how?
11th: tuition in the evening clashes with prep for USP camp. how?
12th: USP camp.
14th: kota kinabalu. clashes with CGL training, but tickets' already booked.
aiya. so disorganised.
today went to the PCC for a talk on addiction. and since it was geared towards aids volunteers, we focused more on sexual addictions and drug addiction, touching a bit on alcoholism and gambling addiction. society is certainly getting liberal, we live in a sick world.
the progression goes like this:
impulse -> compulsive -> addiction
i think i've been using the word "addiction" too lightly. addiction is not to be taken frivolously. its when you completely cease to function unless you have that thing, and nothing else matters to you anymore, not your family, not your friends, not your life. its so destructive.
if you suspect your loved one is starting to become compulsive, you should do something already before it progresses, before the physical and/or psychological dependency gets too deep a hold on the person.
i think addiction is going to be a serious problem in my generation. largely because addiction is not taken seriously. reference to drug use is so casual in songs (from brown sugar to smoke and a pancake). sex is cheap. computer addiction starts young. casino comes to singapore.
uncle david said something interesting today
"Singapore is a good place for you to have a good life. But it is not a good place for you to become a good christian."
hmmmm.
i learnt a lot about how to take drugs today! the pros and cons of shooting it up vs chasing the dragon. the various paraphenelia (spelling?) druggies need. different grades of heroin. different kinds of highs you get from different types of drugs. (stimulants, depressants, inhalants etc). how to spot a drug addict.
going through the list of things to look out for to identify a druggie, i realise i kinda fulfil some of em. Slow reaction. Very spaced out when you talk to them. ("huh? what you say?" 10 seconds after you say something). Reluctance to face mondays. Dilated pupils. Always very sleepy looking. Cannot walk properly. But for the record, i am not on drugs! heh.
come now becks, be serious. soon you wont be a teenager anymore.
in which case, i'm thinking, i should revel in it!
note to self: stop talking to yourself. ooops.
i'm overbooked. messed up again.
4th: supposed to go make nametags. tuition in the evening.
5th: stompaids meeting at SGH. VCF FOC at NUS.
8th: PCC visit how? Dinner with family tentative.
9th: tuition, time not settled.
10th: lunch with JC classmates at botanic gardens. but supposed to spend day with hazel. how?
11th: tuition in the evening clashes with prep for USP camp. how?
12th: USP camp.
14th: kota kinabalu. clashes with CGL training, but tickets' already booked.
aiya. so disorganised.
today went to the PCC for a talk on addiction. and since it was geared towards aids volunteers, we focused more on sexual addictions and drug addiction, touching a bit on alcoholism and gambling addiction. society is certainly getting liberal, we live in a sick world.
the progression goes like this:
impulse -> compulsive -> addiction
i think i've been using the word "addiction" too lightly. addiction is not to be taken frivolously. its when you completely cease to function unless you have that thing, and nothing else matters to you anymore, not your family, not your friends, not your life. its so destructive.
if you suspect your loved one is starting to become compulsive, you should do something already before it progresses, before the physical and/or psychological dependency gets too deep a hold on the person.
i think addiction is going to be a serious problem in my generation. largely because addiction is not taken seriously. reference to drug use is so casual in songs (from brown sugar to smoke and a pancake). sex is cheap. computer addiction starts young. casino comes to singapore.
uncle david said something interesting today
"Singapore is a good place for you to have a good life. But it is not a good place for you to become a good christian."
hmmmm.
i learnt a lot about how to take drugs today! the pros and cons of shooting it up vs chasing the dragon. the various paraphenelia (spelling?) druggies need. different grades of heroin. different kinds of highs you get from different types of drugs. (stimulants, depressants, inhalants etc). how to spot a drug addict.
going through the list of things to look out for to identify a druggie, i realise i kinda fulfil some of em. Slow reaction. Very spaced out when you talk to them. ("huh? what you say?" 10 seconds after you say something). Reluctance to face mondays. Dilated pupils. Always very sleepy looking. Cannot walk properly. But for the record, i am not on drugs! heh.
come now becks, be serious. soon you wont be a teenager anymore.
in which case, i'm thinking, i should revel in it!
note to self: stop talking to yourself. ooops.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
classic pye.
this MUST be blogged down for posterity.
becky says:
wassssssup!!!!
APS says:
I have to go eat a banana soon.
this MUST be blogged down for posterity.
becky says:
wassssssup!!!!
APS says:
I have to go eat a banana soon.
vignettes.
No, its not a salad dressing. That's vinegarette.
he's no knight in shining armour
but i'd ride off into the sunset with him anyday.
i love everything about riding bikes.
The heat of the engine at your feet.
The way my hair gets so tousled and tangled after a ride.
The way you are really travelling on the road, you can hear the sounds, smell the exhaust. Not just passing by indifferently in an air-conditioned box.
As far as i'm concerned, its the ONLY way to travel.
A: But he got car anot?
B: Haha... i thought i was the only one who went for guys with cars!
me: (quietly to myself) I go for guys with bikes.
I was led to this thought: am I spoilt?
Yes my daddy is at my beck and call. (Beck. heh.)
We rode past kembangan on the way back, reminding me of all the times i made him fetch me after my piano lessons at kembangan.
But you know, its probably why i'm closer to me dad.
Both of us are not big on talking, and we don't really talk much in the car, but we do talk, and thats the only time i talk to my parents really. (as opposed to shouting match). The years of faithfully accumulated driving time have had a purpose.
When we went over bumps, my dad did this really funny thing of lolling his head around like a bu dao wong. It made me laugh. (Imagine this round, silver-helmeted bobbing head thingy) So he did it again. It's just like a dad playing with his 5 year old daughter, making her laugh again and again. Sometimes my dad treats me like i'm 5 still, like he likes to point out things and go, "oh kids, look! a cat!" but it's not always a bad thing as i found out.
fathers be good to your daughters
daughters will love like you do
girls become lovers
and turn into mothers
so mothers be good to your daughters too.
when my dad picked me up after FG, he was hungry. So had to go with him for supper... after stuffing myself to the brim at FG! We ordered ta pau for my brothers, the guys came to check order 3 times k! i said to my dad, "you know what would be really classic? if they still manage to screw up after this." and they did. i'm prophetic sia.
i'm looking forward to taking a break sometime. hopefully soon? i need one.
No, its not a salad dressing. That's vinegarette.
he's no knight in shining armour
but i'd ride off into the sunset with him anyday.
i love everything about riding bikes.
The heat of the engine at your feet.
The way my hair gets so tousled and tangled after a ride.
The way you are really travelling on the road, you can hear the sounds, smell the exhaust. Not just passing by indifferently in an air-conditioned box.
As far as i'm concerned, its the ONLY way to travel.
A: But he got car anot?
B: Haha... i thought i was the only one who went for guys with cars!
me: (quietly to myself) I go for guys with bikes.
I was led to this thought: am I spoilt?
Yes my daddy is at my beck and call. (Beck. heh.)
We rode past kembangan on the way back, reminding me of all the times i made him fetch me after my piano lessons at kembangan.
But you know, its probably why i'm closer to me dad.
Both of us are not big on talking, and we don't really talk much in the car, but we do talk, and thats the only time i talk to my parents really. (as opposed to shouting match). The years of faithfully accumulated driving time have had a purpose.
When we went over bumps, my dad did this really funny thing of lolling his head around like a bu dao wong. It made me laugh. (Imagine this round, silver-helmeted bobbing head thingy) So he did it again. It's just like a dad playing with his 5 year old daughter, making her laugh again and again. Sometimes my dad treats me like i'm 5 still, like he likes to point out things and go, "oh kids, look! a cat!" but it's not always a bad thing as i found out.
fathers be good to your daughters
daughters will love like you do
girls become lovers
and turn into mothers
so mothers be good to your daughters too.
when my dad picked me up after FG, he was hungry. So had to go with him for supper... after stuffing myself to the brim at FG! We ordered ta pau for my brothers, the guys came to check order 3 times k! i said to my dad, "you know what would be really classic? if they still manage to screw up after this." and they did. i'm prophetic sia.
i'm looking forward to taking a break sometime. hopefully soon? i need one.
tapioca. sweet and mushy or crispy and bland. depending on how you cook me.
About Me
- Name: beckyboo
- Location: Singapore
i am extraordinary, if you ever get to know me, i am extraordinary, i am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess
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